February 17, 2010
I say to you
You’ve been burning up. Since the time of your first heartbeat. And you will be burning till your last breath.
You were ablaze as a child – befitting your little sandbox bucket and spade; befitting your ability to share a pastry with your friends.
You were on fire as a young man – reaching for the sky with your ideas, with your Copernican discoveries, with disinterested, crazy love, friendships for life and death, ambitions, pride, self assurance, conceit, and lack of humility.
And then came the time of maturity. You were burning up with money gathered, business, risk at every step, and growing fortune. With smaller and bigger swindles with which you were conquering the world -- your professional, your family’s and your friends’ world.
And finally time of retirement has caught you by surprise. It’s not a burning fire any more. It’s like smoldering sticks. Jealousy, bitterness of life lost, unsuccessful ideas; immature and unbalanced. All this keeps going around and around in your head, does not let you sleep at night. Bitterness. The only consolation – successful, disinterested things you have managed to do. Satisfaction and joy, that it’s not so bad, that you are not the worst one of all.
Then the last heartbeat will knock you down.
You will come up to your extinguished camp fire and you will be poking ashes with a stick searching for a diamond: for love in your life; life, which has passed so fast.
But you are still alive and as long as the little flame is still burning within you, everything is possible. You still can repair, forgive, apologize, and come to love.